Note: This question is the first one in a series of “Three questions every spiritual seeker asks.”
Does god exist?
This question was the hardest for me but I also had the deepest longing to know its answer. From my experience, this question is associated with ‘doubt’ and it will never leave you until you have the element of doubt in your life. So first you need the courage to give up the doubt itself. You need to trust everything and anything, for no reason. Only then you can access the inner dimensions of life within you. So ‘trusting’ is a technique. This is not about believing. This is a technique, tested and verified through generations, by many yogis and self-realized beings.
To give up the doubt you need to kill your ego first. To kill your ego, you must trust someone or something. That is why the need of a guru is much emphasized in the spiritual path. So you need to find someone whom you can trust completely. You need to find someone who, you believe, is the most intelligent one. It is not necessary that he knows everything, but at least you should believe that he knows more than you. Otherwise, the ego will rise and it will bring doubts again. Also remember that you can be your own guru. In fact your “self” is the ultimate/only guru. However, realizing this fact may take some time. So it is better to accept guru in ‘personal form’ until you understand what/who a true guru is.
Once you kill your ego or mind (in spirituality ego and mind are synonymous), you are now receptive to the element of ‘grace’. Grace is the nectar of the universe and it is omnipresent. Grace is always there but because of the ‘ego’ most people do not experience it. When the ego vanishes, the grace will flow towards you and you will be able to experience it. The key is that when grace flows towards you, you become aware of your “energy body“. Usually, this stage is one’s “spiritual awakening“. For many people, awakening happens in the presence of the guru. For a few people, awakening can also happen spontaneously depending upon their past karma. Some people also experience awakening instantly upon following the instructions of a guru, for example, while answering the question “who are you” through self-inquiry. It is the fact that awakening happens naturally in the due course of time if one keeps the longing to know alive.
After the spiritual awakening, a profound clarity comes in one’s life, about life and about the whole existence. One feels deep sense of contentment and happiness. It is as if our million questions have been answered at once. Such spiritual experience acts as a proof of our “spiritual existence” which our logical mind always seeks. It becomes clear that we are much beyond our body and mind. After such experience, one is sure to follow the spiritual path onward. In fact most people are atheists only until they have this taste of the “self”. Forget the question does god exist, such experience will clear your every doubt about everything, from the very root.